Truthfully, I've been depressed. I'm just going to be flat-out fucking honest. When I get like this, it's really not good for me to be alone. Not because I'm suicidal, but because I tend to bottle up all my sadness and anger and it just gets worse and worse. When I'm out with friends I can turn my depression around and focus my energy on more positive things. So I've been out camping, walking, going to the movies, whatever. Just things to make me look on the bright side, best I can right now.

At any rate, I have been terribly unproductive with commissions. I know better but my mental health comes first, so... doing what I can to be healthy and happy.... and enjoy my summer and not lock myself in my cave drawing.

Yes, I am being medicated. Yes it helps, but it doesn't fix everything.

You might also want to read this. It explains a lot of what I've been feeling. Posting this here is really... uncomfortable for me. I hate "opening up" to people, but as fans, friends, and customers, I figure it's fair to let you all know what's going on with me.

[link]

I'm not looking for sympathy, I don't want it. I don't want advice, a shoulder to lean on, or any of that. Not that I don't appreciate people offering those things... it's just I'm extremely uncomfortable/scared of opening up to people and I want to try to deal with this in my own way.
I will probably be writing about my feelings a lot on my LJ... I will temp. be keeping things public, because I know some of you might be concerned or something.

I might work on the commissions that I feel inspired to do... but I really just have little to no motivation to work on them. I apologize for this and realize it's extremely unprofessional, but I really just... cant do it. I wouldn't be happy with the outcome.

I might do some personal art to help me cope with my feelings and what not, but don't expect much art-wise from me for the remainder of this month. I know around the 21st is going to be especially hard for me, so it's probably best if I'm left alone.

*NOTE I AM going to make sure I finish all AC pre-orders on time.

Okay, it's very late and I need to be getting some rest.